Ever wonder what the key to happiness is?
…or wonder why some people just seem to live healthy, well-adjusted lives?
In The Living Course, students learn how to identify the emotions of anger, sadness, fear and shame. Many of us grew up in households that didn’t allow us to feel these emotions, with parental advice like:
“Don’t cry – just put on a happy face”
“Don’t be afraid – people will think you’re weak”
“Don’t get mad – just grin and bear it”
“Don’t feel ashamed – just have a cookie instead”
This type of parenting, while well intentioned, actually teaches children to suppress emotions rather than feel them.
While some people think they’re better off for not feeling their emotions, they fail to realize that suppressing these emotions robs us of our personal power.
Perhaps you grew up in a household full of drama?
…or where emotions were often used to make other people feel bad, with parental guidance such as:
“I’m sad, and no one else will be allowed to be happy so long as I’m sad”
“I’m afraid, but rather than do something positive I’ll just act like a victim”
“I’m mad and someone else will have to feel my anger”
“I’m ashamed of myself and will impose my shame on others so they’ll take pity on me and help me”
Parents often times simply don’t know any better, or are addicted to drama. They use their emotional energy to live life on “The Victim Triangle”, instead of taking responsibility to ‘do the right thing’.
At TLC, we learn how to recognize these four emotions:
- Mad
- Sad
- Afraid
- Ashamed
and we learn how to make new choices.
Use the Emotions Map as a guide
Here’s a link so you can save a copy (PDF or JPG) – keep it on your phone and use it throughout the day.
Emotions are energy which can be used to make us happy. At TLC, we learn that we have three choices with our emotions:
-
no decision – be passive (lose/lose)
the basis of addiction and depression -
a destructive decision (win/lose)
how we choose to live in the victim triangle -
a constructive decision (win/win)
how we choose to live a fulfilling life!
TLC is a safe place where we learn the tools to become assertive & courageous people, who know how to recognize and meet our own needs.
If TLC has helped you, let us know! Write a quick note below, and remember to ‘share’ this article on facebook or with a friend.
Don’t forget to refer to your Emotions Map
See you at the next course!
Troy Bishop says
I remember the morning in the course room when everything started making sense to me, it was when this map was explained. Incredible!